


Of Bright Stars and Heavy Burdens

by MichyStar



Category: Togainu no Chi
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-30
Updated: 2012-10-30
Packaged: 2017-11-17 08:34:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/549635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MichyStar/pseuds/MichyStar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part him couldn’t help but wonder if this was some sort of fucked up dream. If he opened his eyes, would Akira be there? Or would he find himself staring at the white wall of some hospital? It wouldn’t have been the first time that had happened.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Bright Stars and Heavy Burdens

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not completely happy with how this turned out, but seeing as NaNoWriMo is just around the corner I tried to finish it up. I may post a sequel of sorts afterwards or not.

Rin had never understood the saying, “it’s a weight off my shoulders” when he was younger.

Sure he understood the basic meaning of it. When you were worried it felt like something was weighing you down. And when that worry left you, the weight supposedly disappeared. What he didn’t understand was the feeling associated with it. He had heard from Kazui that it was a horrible thing. But even after questioning the older boy for almost an hour about it he still didn’t understand. Call him naïve, but it just made no sense to him. Kazui had told him it wasn’t something you could fully understand without experiencing first, and that he hoped Rin never had to feel like that.

Yet only a few months later did he finally come to understand the meaning of those words.

. . .

The moment Akira took that sword from him; Rin knew it was truly over. For the last five years all he thought about was this moment. The moment where he truly let go of his past. No more Shiki and more importantly no more guilt. No more feeling like a failure every time he fell down or ran away. Finally he would be able to move on.

Before he spoke Rin closed his eyes and took in a large breath. Part him couldn’t help but wonder if this was some sort of fucked up dream. If he opened his eyes, would Akira be there? Or would he find himself staring at the white wall of some hospital? It wouldn’t be the first time that had happened.

When he opened his eyes again Akira was still standing in front of him.

Exhaling, he smiled. “…Thank you.” On the outside they were two simple words, but, if you took them and split them open, stuck them under a microscope and looked closely you’d find a lot more meaning.

_Thank you for being there when no one else was._

_Thank you for believing in me._

_Thank you for waiting._

He wasn’t surprised when Akira didn’t reply. Even after all these years he still hadn’t changed that much. Rin wasn’t sure whether to be happy about that or to be worried. Akira had accepted the sword, but had he truly accepted him back into his life yet?

_‘Holy shit that sounds so sappy.’_ He mentally slapped himself for thinking such a stupid thing. The mere fact that Akira had waited five years should have been his answer. But the itch at the back of his head just wouldn’t leave; one small ‘what if?’

“The fight is about to start. Do you want to stay and watch?”  Akira’s cool voice brought him back to reality. For a moment he was confused, but soon remembered that the whole reason he’d been able to find Akira was because of Bl@ster. It had been on a whim but he thought maybe Akira was still participating. He had just arrived in town earlier that day, and when he heard that a Bl@ster match was happening near-by he made sure to get there as soon as possible.

“I don’t mind. I’m sorta hungry though, haven’t eaten anything all day.” He brushed off the startled look Akira gave him with a laugh. “I was just excited about possibly being able to see you again. I’ll be fine, I can get something later.” For extra reassurance he added a smile.

“We can come to the next one, you need to eat.” The way Akira was fretting over him reminded him about everything he had done back in Toshima. When Rin opened his mouth again to argue Akira just shook his head. “Come on.” Defeated, he watched with a slightly amused grin as Akira put the sword across his back and grabbed his hand.

The last part surprised him, and he let out a small “Eh?”

“You don’t know where everything is.” The reply was short just like his usual style. Normal people probably would have gotten turned off by his seemingly cold nature, but Rin knew otherwise. At least, he’d like to think he did. Unable to come up with any sort of retort—not that he’d actually give up the chance of being able to hold Akira’s hand—Rin just let the shorter man lead him out of the alley.

They exited out onto the street. Since it was nearing nighttime not many people were outside. As Akira lead him down the street, Rin looked around, trying to memorize the way they had come for future reference. Occasionally the few people that were out would glance at them—or maybe it was the sword--but soon enough they turned their attention away. Back in Toshima Rin had no qualms about showing his affection for others, but he found that now he felt a bit embarrassed. He wondered if Akira was feeling the same, after all the man was much more introverted than Rin. Then again he didn’t care about what others thought of him. It’d probably be best if he just stopped thinking and enjoyed the warmth of the others skin.

As they turned one corner Akira suddenly stopped. Rin stopped with him and looked around. They seemed to be near the outer part of the town, there weren’t as many buildings out here. And if he squinted Rin thought he could make out the shore of a beach nearby. The building they had stopped in front of turned out to be a simple café.

“They have good food here.” Akira explained as he reached to open the door.

“Any food would be fine right now. Well—except for Solids. If I see another one of those I think I’ll be sick.” He shuddered at the thought; for the two years the war went on Solids had been his main food supply. Needless to say he got tired of them pretty quickly. “Thanks.” When he stepped inside the first thing he smelled was coffee, bread and sugar soon followed after. Suddenly his stomach felt much emptier than before. Akira must have seen his expression, because Rin heard a light chuckle from behind him, and he instantly straightened up.

He felt like a little kid in a sweets shop. Everything looked so good—but so expensive!—and if he could he would have just taken every last bit of food. In the end he just ordered a few stuffed buns while Akira got some Gyoza. While they waited for their food they took a seat near the back, close to some windows. The café was practically empty, with only another couple eating up front.

It was steadily getting darker outside now; soon the red-purple sky would turn black. A few faint stars could already be seen in the distance. He was so focused on watching the sky he didn’t notice that Akira had already gone and gotten their food. Only when the smell of Gyoza became overwhelming and a plate nudged his elbow did he turn back his attention back to the table.

Taking the offered plate Rin picked up one of the buns, turning it in his fingers and studying it before taking a large bite. The first bun disappeared in under a minute. As he went to pick up his second one he noticed Akira had barely touched his food.

“Is something wrong?”

“…No.”

“Then why aren’t you eating?”

“I’m not hungry. You can have half of it, if you want.”

Rin couldn’t help but snort. Akira could be such a child sometimes. “Ok, fine. Thanks.” His tone was a mix of sarcasm and teasing, but nevertheless he reached across the small table and carefully put some of the Gyoza on his plate. “Let’s go back to your place after this. I’m pooped.”

“It’s nearby. But it’s on one of the top floors.”

“Then we can take the elevator.”

“It’s out of order for the next week.”

“Oh.” Great, that meant walking up a long flight of stairs. By now he was used to his prosthetic, but he did try to avoid stairs, especially after a little mishap back at the hospital when he had just started walking again. He wasn’t about to cry or whine—even if he wanted to just a little—about it though. “Does it go out to the roof?” The lights could have been playing a trick on his eyes, but Rin swore he saw a small flush on Akira’s cheeks. Trick or not it was absolutely adorable. When Akira nodded Rin broke into a wide grin. “Then let’s go there afterwards!”

“I thought you said you were tired.” This time it was Akira who sounded slightly amused.

“I’m never too tired to watch the stars.” _Especially with you_ was left unsaid.

. . .

“You know, I expected a lot of stairs when you said you lived on the top floor, but this is just ridiculous.”

“We’re almost there.”

“You said that 5 minutes ago.” Even though he was complaining about everything else, Rin still hadn’t outright said that he was tired or even slightly in pain. He was much too stubborn to admit that stuff, especially in front of Akira. It was bad enough the other was obviously going slower for him and constantly asking if his leg was ok.

“Here.” When he pointed to a closed door just a few steps away from them Rin felt like crying out in joy. He forced his tired legs to make those last few steps and made his way to join Akira by the door. He watched silently as the shorter man reached into his pocket, and pulled out a small set of keys. He flipped through them once or twice before finally finding the one he was looking for. The sound of the door unlocking and being opened, allowing the cool night air to rush in, filled the hall.

In his opinion it was nowhere close to being as beautiful as the Toshima sky had been, but it was still a sight to see. Buildings with multi-colored signs lit up the night and the streets below, and the faint sound of talking reached his ear.

“So, this your new star gazing spot?”

 “Yeah,” by now Akira had made his way over to Rin and was looking down at the street below with him. He shrugged, “it’s better than nothing.”

“Ah…Well, we didn’t come here to watch people now did we?” He grinned at Akira before grabbing his hand, pulling him over to a spot right in the middle of the roof. Carefully he sat down, and then laid back. He watched as Akira did the same, grin widening when he didn’t let go of his hand.

“You know, laying here like this makes it feel like no time has passed at all.”

“I guess.”

“Don’tcha think? I mean, if it weren’t for the fact my hair is longer and I totally tower over you now we could easily be 5 years younger again!”

“You did grow taller. I didn’t think Solids had that effect on people. Must be some sort of side effect.”

“Hey! You’re just jealous that I’m bigger than you. Don’t think I didn’t know how much you liked old little me. I remember how you clung to me any chance you could.”

Akira scoffed as if insulted, and muttered, “If anything you were the one clinging to me.”

“Obviously; I finally had someone there to hold me.” Even though his tone was bright Rin frowned a little. It felt like looking through some sort of trick mirror, whenever he thought about how he had acted before. He had been childish and immature in many ways, but it somehow had resulted in him finding someone he could actually trust, and that actually believed in him. Well, they did say that good can come out of bad situations. Or something to that extent. Before he knew it his mouth was moving again, this time on its own accord. “I don’t think I can thank you enough for that. Though, I still think you were a bit of an idiot for trusting me completely like that back then when we hadn’t even known each other for a week…But I’m glad you did.”

He waited for a reply, but was met only with silence.

“Akira?” Rin sat up. Had he said too much? Did he say something wrong? Or was this Akira just being Akira? It was most likely the last option, but he still felt a bit worried. It was annoying how bothered he was getting by this. Even though they had only been in Toshima for about a week he knew how Akira worked. He wasn’t the type to change too much in 5 years, yet anytime he stayed silent for a long period Rin felt worried. All those paranoid thoughts came rushing back in his head.

Turning his attention back to the body under him Rin saw that Akira had averted his eyes again, and his free hand was scratching at his head. He had an awkward look on his face, and seemed to hesitate before speaking.

“Welcome back, Rin.”

It was an expression Rin would have never associated with Akira. He was smiling—still small and barely there but it was a smile nonetheless—and he looked…happy. Normally it would’ve freaked Rin out, maybe even make him run for the hills, but now it just made him stop and stare. Whatever dark thoughts had been plaguing him before vanished. Yet another weight off his shoulders, it seemed.

“I…Dammit I wish I had my camera.” He could feel his face growing warmer by the moment, a sharp contrast from the cool night air. Squeezing Akira’s hand again he started to move closer to him, casually leaning down pretending like he had no ulterior motives.

“I still don’t like taking pictures.” The smile had faded from his face now, but it was still evident in his voice. He didn’t seem to have any aversion to what Rin was obviously planning. If anything he seemed to be encouraging it, watching him silently with those silver-blue eyes of his.

“We can work on that.” He had barely given Akira time to finish his sentence before his lips where pressing against his. The angle was awkward, and it was much too cold for Rin’s liking, but at the moment none of that mattered.

All that did matter was that he was finally by Akira’s side; where he intended to stay for a very long time.

. . .

That night the stars seemed to shine especially bright.


End file.
